Catch Flights, Not Feelings

I would much rather wander, and spend my life creating adventure in my daily life than settle down into a routine. Only boring people get bored, and I refuse to have a "normal" life. I want to be wild, unpredictable and wander the globe. I want to meet interesting people, make friends and fall in love with beautiful things. Basically be unapologetically fearless in the pursuit of chasing my dreams.  Challenging the status quo, if you will. The world is my oyster, and I should be diving for pearls.

I have never been afraid to eat alone, go to the movies alone, live alone, shop alone and travel alone. I actually cherish my alone time more than I'd like to admit. It makes me feel lionhearted in the fact that I have absolutely no issue buying an international flight and spending my time exploring a foreign place all by my lonesome. I'm always looking for love, but I don't find it in people often. If I find it in a person, it's because they make me feel encouraged to fulfill all my dreams and they fill me with joy. I've given up on finding love in a person, I don't think I have what people are looking for. I am desperate for a change of scenery, I am tired of having excuses fed to me and I am not going to waste my life waiting on a man to make time for me. If I'm not a priority now I never will be, but I know I will be a priority on my flights when I need peanuts or a lemon water. I do always manage to find love in places, and in beautiful things. Apple blossoms in Paris in the Spring, mango trees in the Philippines, the dry heat in Arizona and the hustle and bustle of New York City - they all invoke the feeling of love. I can fall in lust for an evening with a person, but say farewell in the morning. I know what I want in life, and have no qualms in taking a 15 hour flight alone to find it. It makes my soul explode, and my insides feel like stars are bursting when a new travel idea comes to fruition.

I'm going after what I want in life, because I don't want to look back on the time I had on our beautiful Earth and feel like I wasted it, or that I "should have" taken the leap and changed my life. I want to say "Yes! I climbed Taal volcano all the way to the top" and "I got bit by a brown recluse spider in the Philippines while eating mango in an outdoor cafe and took a weird pill from a doctor when I was paralyzed on the right side of my body".  I don't want to live a life full of regret, with the "I wish I saw the Grand Canyon". One day, I will have grandchildren or maybe I won't, but either way, I will be able to speak of adventure and interesting things I have done, instead of wishing I took that leap of faith.

I'm living for moments like waking up at 3AM with the intention of driving a rental jeep so I can hike to the top of a volcano to watch the sunrise above the clouds in Haleakala, planning how to surf for the first time in Lahaina. For days I planned to watch a movie or read a book, but decided last minute to go visit a pineapple plantation. I don't have the bandwidth to factor in someone else's feelings or plans into my life right now because all I want to do is LEAVE. I want to escape the ordinary. If I want to go, the ticket is already bought. No restrictions. No small print. Just me, and the world. I'm happiest alone, because I am falling in love with my own life.